


All this and forgiveness too

by ILookDaftWithOneShoe



Series: 'Even psychopaths have emotions. Then again, maybe not' [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff, How Loki met Nat, Martial Arts Training, Multi, Some severely fluffy moments, Spies, Spies everywhere, You learn so much about characters I mean seriously read the thing, and how Loki became Kisa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:32:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILookDaftWithOneShoe/pseuds/ILookDaftWithOneShoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"You fight like a baby cat," Natalia growled in Russian, taking a guess at his nationality. "Kisa."</em>
</p><p>  <em>He turned his pale face to the side and looked up at her. "Do you have a minute for our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?" He replied in clumsy and heavily accented Russian.</em></p><p> </p><p>Natalia Romanova has finally started living the clean(er) life with SHIELD. She's got a friend, she's got a steady job, and she's making amends. It's on her third mission with them that she returns to Russia, and there, she tangles with MI6 and the fascinating Agent Feison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You want a revelation

**Author's Note:**

> It's really self-explanatory; I wrote a thing.
> 
> Natasha is addressed as Natalia in this for reasons that are explained later. That's really it.

_2006_

The dark days were behind Natalia Romanova.

Clint Barton was an angel in the guise of a sarcastic man with a bow. He'd been sent to stop her in her destructive path; instead he'd fought tooth and nail to save her from SHIELD and even try and grant her amnesty (granted, she hadn't gotten it, but she was doing her time).

Determined to work hard, she'd thrown herself into training at SHIELD and had managed to teach the instructors a few tricks herself.

Generally, she preferred to keep to herself, barring talking to Clint. Many agents knew her and knew what she'd done, and they didn't support the boss's decision to give her a try. Loneliness had never been an issue for the Black Widow - it's all in the name, really - but the general air of distaste had been a little oppressive when it went on for long enough.

It didn't help that she could kick the ass of anyone who dared challenge her, and aced all her training. She'd been raised for this, after all.

The sense of freedom on her first mission was brilliant. Clint chaperoned her, but she enjoyed his company and could finally begin to clear the red in her ledger, so joining SHIELD was more than worth it.

Agent Romanova had behaved in an impeccable style and had completed her objectives with ease and discretion. An exemplary agent. Consider for more advanced work.

Getting back to SHIELD, she was received with less hostility after proving herself. Which was when she met Agent Coulson, her new handler. The first mission had been a test; she was an agent of SHIELD now.

After her second mission - also successful - she was queued for a mission in Russia, teamed with the a group of political refugees who had previously sought to overthrown Putin. Likely for unscrupulous reasons, England had allied themselves with Putin and America with the refugees. It was some kind of power play, of what nature Natalia didn't really know.

Natalia, Clint and another agent were supposed to be non-existent, untraceable back to America. She appreciated the mission; despite her very occasional bursts of patriotism towards her own country, she never liked Putin and was happy to help. And more than happy to return for a brief visit to the place that had once been home. America was too hot.

Unfortunately, three days before they left, Clint fractured his wrist in training.

The fate of the mission and of Natalia's part in it were in the air. SHIELD wanted the mission to go on, but they needed Natalia, and the conditions of her being allowed on missions was with Clint as her supervisor.

Eventually they relented. Clint was replaced on the mission, and status reports had to be made about Natalia's actions daily by one of their teammates.

Natalia hadn't been in Nizhny Novgorod for years, but it hadn't exactly changed much.

The refugees were in the city. Not able to contact them, Natalia and her fellow agents subtly walked over there on the fourth day they were there to talk to them about escape plans.

The five of them were fairly healthy, all in all. They were getting groceries delivered. None of them had left the trashy flat they were in for two weeks now. And they were grateul for the assistance of SHIELD.

That said, SHIELD's motivations were mostly self-serving, but there you go. A suspicion niggling the back of Natalia's brain warned her that these refugees would likely be used as leverage in the future.

As they walked back through town to their own flat building (it would've been convenient if they'd been able to get a flat in the same building as their targets, but they all agreed that since MI6 knew they were there it could cause more problems than it could solve) Natalia had a feeling they were being followed.

Her feelings were usually correct.

Natalia said - loud enough that anyone with half a brain who was following them would hear her - that she was going back to check on something. Both agents looked at her confusedly until she sent them a text that they were being followed. Then they nodded respectfully and continued on their way.

It was nice to know they trusted her instincts, at least.

The reasoning behind Natalia's decision was that whoever they were, if they were planning to try and interrogate anyone from their party, they'd go after the woman who was alone quicker than the men in a pair. If she walked down enough dark alleyways they'd probably show.

They didn't. Natalia pretended that her sneaker had become unlaced, so she sat down, alone, in an alley, seemingly incapacitated, and they didn't show.

Whoever this was, they were good at following and staying unseen, but not so good at evading Natalia's other senses. They were likely following a little close, which was a basic mistake for someone who wasn't confident in what they were doing.

What Natalia thought was a good idea was to cut through the city centre, get into a crowd of people - which would force her follower to draw closer or lose her in the rush of people - and track them in return.

Natalia had always thought the centre of Nizhny Novgorod was pretty. It was even prettier when she was on the hunt.

After about ten minutes of moving her way through people, Natalia became aware of the presence that had been after her for some time. It was midday - a good time to visit the refugees, as lots of people were about; night would be too suspicious - so the throng of people was shifting quickly, and anyone consistently moving the same direction as her would be easily noticed. And this someone was. They were tall with dark hair, she could tell that.

Natalia quickened her pace, taking a few twists and turns to force her follower closer. Then she suddenly turned down an alleyway, and when they looked around confusedly as they walked past it, she grabbed them by their jacket, tugged them into the alley, kneed them in the kidney and pinned them to the ground.

They - no, he - gave a rather feeble attempt at escaping.

Natalia was pinning down a slim and dark-haired man with vivid green eyes and a very slightly surprised look on his face. He was tall, with well-developed muscles, but clearly couldn't use them as well as Natalia.

In a moment, though, he'd neatly bucked her off and scrambled to his feet in a well-practiced fighting stance. Natalia caught a quick hit he'd sent at her, slammed her palm into his chest, then swept his feet back out from under him, pinning him facedown again.

"You fight like a baby cat," Natalia growled in Russian, taking a guess at his nationality. "Kisa."

She was pretty sure the moron actually _giggled._

"Why were you following me?" She asked.

He turned his pale face to the side and looked up at her. "Do you have a minute for our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?" He replied in clumsy and heavily accented Russian.

It was a line flawlessly delivered with just the right balance of comedy and a saintly air; a less focused agent than Natalia might've paused for a moment.

"Not with that accent," Natalia said. "What are you, MI6?"

"Hm," he said, his face still pressed uncomfortably in the suspicious floor of the alley. "For a start, if you speak English, now would be the right time to tell me."

Natalia switched easily and even added the American accent she used with SHIELD. "You're part of the MI6 attachment to the FSB."

The man didn't even bother to deny it. "Also, if you could do me honour of letting me up so my face isn't stuck in a puddle of what smells like vodka and piss, I might be more inclined to tell you anything."

Natalia didn't move, just tightened the full nelson she had so he squirmed in pain.

"I won't run," he said, all smooth diplomacy despite the circumstances. "I haven't a doubt you could catch me if I did. Also, I'm unarmed."

Recognising that a faceful of whatever he had a faceful of couldn't be pleasant, she conceeded to letting him sit up.

"Unlike you, I'm very armed, so don't try anything," Natalia said. She wasn't stupid enough to believe he was completely defenceless, but she did know she was probably a quicker draw.

The man sat up, finally getting a good look at her and obviously recognised her. "Ms Romanova, it's an honour," he said, extending a hand to shake.

She ignored it, staying blank-faced. "Name?"

"Ace Ventura," he answered without missing a beat.

Natalia drew her gun and pointed it at his foot. "Actual name?"

"Loki," he answered quickly.

"Last name?"

"Feison."

"MI6?"

"Yes. As far as I noticed," he said.

Natalia took a good look at Loki; he looked young and his behaviour so far betrayed his inexperience.

"First mission?"

A lazy grin came across his face; he was handsome in the same sort of way a snake was pretty, Natalia decided. "Perhaps."

"Definitely."

"I don't see how it matters to you," Loki shrugged.

"Why were you following me?" Natalia insisted.

"You have a rather nice ass and I became distracted," Loki deadpanned.

Natalia clicked off the safety.

"Why the fuck else would I be following you?" Loki said irritably.

Natalia was about to speak, about to deliver a cutting line, when there was a crashing noise and Loki collapsed. Assuming she was being assaulted, Natalia flicked off the safety and immediately looked around.

Two sharp pains in the nerve clusters of Natalia's arm, and Loki - fully healthy and conscious - wrenched the gun out of her hand.

"Gotcha," Loki said brightly, making a run for it, which was probably a good thing considering Natalia had another gun and two knives on her person.

Natalia's curiosity was piqued now, if she was going to be honest. He may not have been a very proficient fighter, but he was insanely fast and seemingly rather intelligent.

It was a little bit of a pain that the MI6 knew at least what district the refugees were in. She wasn't certain when Loki had first started following them, but it had been only a few minutes after they'd left the flat building.

Also, she wanted to hunt Loki down and stand on his balls until he gave her gun back.


	2. Pussy Galore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia goes to hunt down Loki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this is getting away from me, so now it's gonna be four chapters.

Natalia reported her close encounter with the MI6 kind in a brisk and businesslike way, admitting the loss of her gun.

"They don't know where our people are," Natalia said. "But they've got a good idea. We need to be more vigilant on later visits."

She was working with two agents. The first was strict and serious, but the second was Clint's ex-partner and he shared the archer's occasionally inappropriate sense of humour. Right now, he was laughing at Natalia.

"I can't believe the Black Widow got her pistol nicked by a rookie," he giggled.

"I'd be happy to remind you why I'm called the Black Widow," Natalia deadpanned, a dangerous look in her eyes.

He shut up.

Fortunately, the more serious of the two agents was more practical. "Do you think you could find him again?"

"He stands out, and his accent can be heard anywhere in town," Natalia answered.

"Find him tomorrow. He mentioned being attracted to you; it shouldn't be too difficult to convince him to spend time with you," the agent said.

"He appeared to be rather intelligent," Natalia said.

"If he thinks he's so clever, then I bet he'd try and get stuff out of you," Clint's ex-partner replied. "Double-play him. You're not dumb enough to get tossed over by him."

That was actually a compliment, or at least Natalia took it as one.

-O.O-

Finding Agent Feison was actually trickier than it initially seemed. Natalia scouted town, trusting her fluent Russian and invisible way of dressing to keep her unnoticed. But she didn't find Loki.

That was, until she got thirsty and dipped into a bar for a drink, and found the guy she'd been searching for all morning with one hand wrapped around a glass and the other inside a girl's coat, never mind what his mouth was doing.

"Feison," Natalia said amusedly. It _was_ pretty funny, and he knew it, by the cheeky grin he gave her after breaking his kiss with the girl.

"Romanova," he answered impishly.

"Drinking and cavorting with the locals before midday. What would your superiors say?" Natalia replied.

"This isn't alcohol, it's lemonade, for a start," Loki replied innocently, wiggling his glass. "And said superiors are currently under the impression I'm looking for you and your clarinet ensemble."

"What a coincidence that I was looking for you," Natalia said.

"Oh, whyever would that be?" Loki asked.

"Buy me a drink first," Natalia said, buying into their faked camaraderie and taking a seat. The girl Loki was 'cavorting' with excused herself with a few words, but it was pretty clear that she wasn't coming back. "Did I crush your foreign romance?"

"Easy come, easy go," Loki said nonchalantly. "Though I did spend an hour or two working on her. What is your drink of choice?"

"Vodka," Natalia said. "You?"

"I don't drink. Alcohol, that is," Loki said primly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Natalia said, before ordering two vodkas on the rocks from the barkeep in Russian. "You're in Russia now, English boy. Vodka's a tradition."

When their drinks arrived, Loki viewed it with distaste.

"Feison, you seem to me like the hedonistic type. What's one more vice?" Natalia said with a little smile.

"Mother always warned me the older children would attempt to pressure me," Loki said.

"Just drink the stuff," Natalia said, throwing hers back.

Loki sipped his innocently, looking her over.

For the first time, Natalia read something borderline unsettling in those eyes. They were...calculating. That was the best word. Like he was reading her.

"I'm willing to assume you're here because you're aware I'm an inexperienced agent and you believe you can drink me under the table until I spew the secrets of the MI6," Loki said, a tiny tinge of amusement in his voice.

Well. Natalia couldn't deny that.

"You're wondering if you can double-play me into 'spewing the secrets' of SHIELD," Natalia replied.

Loki grinned at that. "Oh, you're very likeable."

"That's not the angle I was going for," Natalia snorted.

"It so rarely is in agents, or so I have found. A world without common manners is a dismal one indeed," Loki answered.

"It's not good manners to take a lady's gun," Natalia pointed out.

"Take it back, if you must," Loki said coyly, spreading his legs a little. Natalia could see the outline of a gun holster on his inner thigh.

"I'm certain the position of that gun is an innuendo," Natalia snorted.

"Me? Lewd? Banish the thought," Loki said.

"Look, Loki," Natalia said, cutting to the chase. "We're on different sides. We're both trying to spy on each other. But why do you want to capture these refugees anyway?"

"Using my first name, pointing out similarities between us, and attempting to make me question my allegiances," Loki ticked off on his long fingers. "You've just managed to embody a cliche. But, in any case, I'm following orders. This is my first mission, as you so correctly surmised. At this stage in my career, I hardly think it is in my power to question the wants of my queen and country."

"You're no more patriotic than I am," Natalia pointed out.

"They're paying me," Loki shrugged.

"Not enough, for someone with your mind," Natalia countered.

"Oo, cutting to the flattery, are we?" Loki chuckled. "You make a good case."

"I'm serious, Loki. Why do you think these refugees need to be captured? They'll be treated horribly, perhaps disposed of bloodily. Do you support Putin?" Natalia said.

"Admittedly, no," Loki shrugged. "Nothing personal, just business."

"With an attitude like that, you could be doing a lot more than cleaning up mess at MI6," Natalia said.

"Are you suggesting I join SHIELD?" Loki said bemusedly.

"Definitely not. I'm suggesting you freelance," Natalia said. "Perhaps you could begin by helping us help these refugees. For a fee, of course."

"Though your manipulation techniques are anything but subtle, I'm still being swayed by them," Loki admitted, testing to see how Natalia would respond.

"I'm not trying to be subtle anymore, Loki. It's simple. Quit MI6, help me, and I'll give you a few pointers. Then go and be a merc; I made millions as an assassin, though I gave most of it away." Another condition of joining SHIELD.

"I'm certain there has to be a downside," Loki chuckled.

"Well, yes," Natalia shrugged. "You'll annoy MI6, and it would take you a long time to build up a name and a reputation. But it is better."

"How convenient that you offer me such a proposition," Loki said dryly.

"It is convenient," Natalia said cheekily. "Consultation, free of charge."

"How generous," Loki said. "I'll have to think about that. Forgive me if I do not dive into the waiting arms of a Russian seductress."

Obviously, this kid was a little too shrewd for Natalia to blatantly trick, but she'd sewn a very clear seed of doubt. Right now she knew he needed time to deliberate, so she decided to take the exit he'd respect most judging by his nature, and still stay a little mysterious. She could get her gun back another time, now that she had him hooked.

"Isn't that the attraction of this line of work?" Natalia murmured, getting to her feet and wrapping her arms around Loki's neck from behind to address her next statement in an undertone. "Just call me Pussy Galore."

Loki accidentally inhaled his sip of vodka in laughter as Natalia left, which degenerated into choked coughing.

Natalia really shouldn't have liked the enemy so much.


	3. Familiarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well , it's been three months and I finally feel comfortable posting this in regards to various things and stuffs.
> 
> I'm going away for Christmas for a few days, meaning updates may not happen on other fics (depending on the availability of wifi and my work ethic) and I apologise most humbly for that.

Two days later, and Natalia walked into her bedroom in their flat, not paying attention as she took off her shirt, leaving her in her thermal camisole. It was cold out. Hell, they were in Russia in Autumn. It was almost always cold.

"Hello to you too," a voice purred brightly.

Natalia had been afraid many times in her life, but she prided herself on the fact that she wasn't often surprised. This, however, was so wholly unexpected that she'd dropped her shirt and aimed her gun in a heartbeat.

At Loki, who was sitting in the chair next to her bed looking quite pleased with himself.

 _Oh, it's only Loki,_ Natalia thought, and then kicked herself for regarding the enemy as _only_. But he didn't seem much of a threat, and, if she'd gotten through to him, he mightn't even be an enemy.

First thing was first. "How did you get in here?"

Loki tilted his head at the big bathroom window she'd left open a little for ventilation.

"A better question, perhaps: _why_ did you break into here?" Natalia asked, though, to her satisfaction, she was fairly sure she already knew the answer.

"To watch you undress, obviously," Loki said innocently.

Not self-conscious, Natalia continued to look at him sternly.

"To accept your offer. You can't be so unintelligent as to not understand that," Loki said, irritated at having to admit it.

"How can I trust you?" Natalia asked, wondering what Loki would say.

"You can't," Loki admitted. "However, my immediate superior is allergic to peanuts. If you wish to attack him, somehow introduce them into his system and he will be rendered immobile."

"He'd die, you mean," Natalia said.

"Severe anaphylactic shock isn't _necessarily_ death," Loki said innocently. "Though, admittedly, the odds would not be in his favour."

"You knew where we were. Does anyone else in your team?" Natalia asked.

Loki shook his head. "I followed your fellow agent here alone."

"And he didn't notice you?" Natalia asked. It was Clint's ex-partner that had come back, and, well, she wanted to hold the fact that he'd been followed over his head.

"I like to pride myself with more skill than that," Loki snorted.

"I noticed you," Natalia pointed out.

"I want you to notice me," Loki shrugged. "I needed to know who I was fighting."

"Then I most definitely can't trust you," Natalia countered.

Loki rolled his expressive green eyes. "Fine then. Picture the situation in which I'd approached you candidly. _Hello, Ms Romanova. I'm working against you, so please let me know everything about your mission. Convince me to join the other side, too, because I'm a little unhappy in my line of work._ Foolproof."

Well, he did have a point.

"And in any case," Loki continued. "I do doubt you'll trust me anyway."

And another point he had.

-O.O-

The two agents Natalia was working with were both surprised to have her emerge from her bedroom with a handcuffed Loki.

"Gotta say, Widow, I thought you'd be more discreet," Clint's ex-partner sniggered. Gods, he was too much like Clint, and not in a good way.

"I thought you'd be more discreet; he followed you here," Natalia said smoothly.

"How'd he do that?" He replied. "I didn't sense anything."

"Steathily," Loki replied. "The handcuffs are for show; I've decided to join your side."

"We can't trust him," the more serious agent said to Natalia.

"I wouldn't expect you to," Loki said. "In fact, I'd lose a great deal of respect for your abilities if you did."

"And yes, he does always talk like this," Natalia deadpanned. "I think he swallowed all of _War and Peace."_

"My Russian's too shit for that," Loki said airily. "So. What would you like to know?"

-O.O-

Loki spent all afternoon detailing MI6's plans for finding and catching the refugees as quietly as possible. They knew what apartment block the refugees were in, but this was supposed to be a quiet affair. They didn't want the refugees to get public sympathy, and the FSB wasn't going to do it themselves so they could pretend they knew nothing. Loki didn't know how MI6 was getting its back scratched out of that, but no doubt it was irritatingly political.

"Oh, and by the way," Loki added as the sun went down and Natalia considered ordering food in, "I've told my superiors that I'm going to infiltrate your organisation and feed them information in exchange for a bonus for working under adverse conditions. I'm fully planning to tell them a pack of lies, simply because my superior called me a faggot and I'm happy if he is punished for an inability to keep an eye on his junior agents."

While Natalia was really starting to like Loki, she was definitely wary; he'd already proven to be motivated more by money, his libido and a quest to be entertained than by any moral factors. She said as much to her fellow agents in quick Russian, trusting that Loki's command of the language was clumsy at best. Judging by the quick look of suspicion that passed over his face, she was right.

"Right, Feison," the more serious of the two male agents said. "You are not going to be told anything of our plans. You may stay here, provided you either keep in this room or have a chaperone. If you seem to pose any danger to us or our mission, you will be arrested formally. If you definitely pose any danger to us or our mission, we reserve the right to shoot you and throw you in the Oka."

"Charming. I hope I have the pleasure of bunking with your Lady Widow," Loki said teasingly to Natalia. "It's cold, after all, and sharing is caring."

Normally, Nat would break the fingers of someone who was even vaguely sexually harassing her, but again, with Loki it didn't really seem to count as much; it didn't seem like he was serious or would try anything, more like they were sharing a joke between friends.

And if he did try anything she could fight him. He didn't exactly seem particularly skilled.

That reminded her. "I'd appreciate my gun back, Loki."

"Nope. I won that fairly before I joined your side," Loki said innocently. "It's mine now."

"I'll fight you for it," Natalia said with a half-smile.

"I think I'll politely decline," Loki smirked.

-O.O-

Natalia decided that if Loki was to work with them, he'd definitely need his skills improved. So she woke him up from his position on the couch under a duvet with a kick in the side.

Loki sprang awake, looking like a startled cat.

"It seems to me that if you're working with us, you'll need to improve your hand-to-hand and your Russian, because they're both terrible," Natalia said. "Fortunately I'm somewhat of an expert in both."

Loki blinked at her for a moment, taking her words in, before nodding. "It would be my pleasure."

"Don't kiss ass," Natalia said, pulling him up. "Why did they allow someone as inexperienced as you on this mission?"

"Short-staffed again," Loki answered. "The days of James Bond are long gone; not that I'm convinced they ever existed."

"That kind of operation was never practical," Natalia agreed, facing him. "If you were to strike me right now and attempt to incapacitate me, how would you go about it?"

"I would-" Loki began, shifting his feet.

"Speak Russian only," Natalia cut in, speaking the language too.

That forced Loki to speak more slowly and carefully. "I would aim for your abdomen. It is always weak."

"Wrong," Natalia said. "I'm compact and my abdomen is well-defended by my stature. If you strike to meet me there, I'll be able to take advantage of you entering my space."

Instead of doing what her instructors had done and demonstrating his mistake painfully on him, she moved behind him and corrected his stance, instructing him on a more successive tactic. She had a lot of work to do.

-O.O-

They trained for only a short period before she allowed him breakfast.

His demeanour bothered her. She doubted that he was deceiving them, but the permanent unconcerned air to his manner wasn't a mask. He really was that lazily confident.

There was something hollow about him that she instinctively didn't trust.

Natalia would never claim that she wasn't the same. Clint had told her many times that she often seemed blank, and he wished she would let her guard down, but there was nothing to let down. She'd been trained to permanently be like that. Vulnerability was the fake manner.

But the difference between her and Loki was that while her flatness had been intentionally created, Loki's seemed natural.

He didn't even feel especially dangerous. He just felt like he could be.

-O.O-

The next few days were spent preparing. Natalia used her spare time to train Loki and prod him into speaking more Russian. He was getting much better already, and she wondered how intelligent he actually was.

He was also learning hand-to-hand quicker than she'd expected. He'd make a good mercenary. A trustworthy one, maybe not.

Negotiations with SHIELD had resulted in Loki gaining 'informant' status and therefore being given a bounty. Loki seemed delighted.

-O.O-

"You should pick a fighting style and stick to it," Natalia said, finishing clearing a space in the living room. "I'm training you generally now, but eventually you'll need to develop your own style."

Loki looked himself over. "I'd imagine 'brute force' is out."

As Natalia had learned the interesting way, Loki was remarkably strong. Despite that, though, he was gangly and thin and lacked the actual mass to fight in close quarters using only strength.

She looked him over appraisingly. "You're quick. You can hit hard. You have clever hands."

"Now you're just flattering me," Loki said dryly. "You're suggesting I fight quick and dirty. I like it."

"Supplement it with a hand weapon like a knife or cestus, and that can be quite effective," Natalia said. "Useless if someone shoots you, but if you're forced to fight without projectile weapons, it's good to have a strategy. Far quieter, too."

"Knives suit me; you can pick them up anywhere," Loki replied. "Teach me all you know, grandmaster Romanova."

-O.O-

It was foolish, and Natalia knew it. But she was relaxing around Loki.

She would still kill him without a moment's notice if given cause, but she was still relaxing.

The mission was hitting roadblocks; Natalia and her two compatriots were watching the refugees and watching them well, but the SHIELD end of things was struggling to arrange safe transport. They couldn't visit the refugees too often, so it came down to video surveillance and personal telephones. In short, there was little to do. As the other two agents insisted on doing a lot of the work, Natalia was forced by the process of elimination to spend time with Loki.

They couldn't train and learn all the time; Loki wasn't fit enough for that. There was nothing to discuss about their work, because while Loki knew things were going roughly, he didn't know much more. Therefore, they were left with time where all they could do was sit around.

The solution that Natalia devised was to watch movies in Russian. As it turned out, Loki hated movies and in fact all forms of scripted entertainment. This led to a conversation about Loki's brief acting career, which led into Loki talking about his life - though noticeably with people and places omitted.

Loki never asked about Natalia, and she appreciated that. No doubt he'd heard plenty.

In the end there was about a week of nothing happening wherein Natalia spent the majority of her time with Loki. He was interesting and a clever conversationalist, so she'd had much worse. The other agents teased her. Just one look thankfully shut them up.

On the subject of loyalty, Natalia was fairly certain Loki had been telling the truth about switching sides. His complete lack of curiosity about their plans and his openness about MI6's own meant that either he was playing a well-acted but ultimately stupid con, or he was sincere. Every detail he'd given them so far had panned out to be true; not that they'd taken him by his word.

Not to mention they were permanently watching him. One of them was always awake, to monitor Loki and the general situation at hand.

All in all, Natalia temporarily halfway trusted him, which was more than most got out of her after knowing her for such a short time.

One day, word came through. SHIELD had commandeered a private airstrip on the outskirts of Kazan, several hour's drive from their current location. An unregistered plane would swoop in and swoop out. Natalia and Clint's ex-partner were driving the van with the refugees. The other agent was to follow in a car. Loki knew nothing, but at crunch time he'd be invited to go in the car. If he didn't want to, he was free to go. He had his money.

Loki knew something big was happening tomorrow, he just didn't know the details. But it told him a lot that Natalia snuck him two kitchen knives and a clip of ammo for his stolen gun.

-O.O-

It was almost midnight when Natalia, unable to sleep, went to the kitchen for a drink. She wasn't nervous, particularly, but it wasn't her habit to sleep much and likely she wouldn't be able to reach anything like unconsciousness for a few hours yet.

Loki was still awake, too, despite everyone telling him to get some sleep. He was reading a Russian kid's book, lips moving as he enunciated the words to himself.

Noticing her, he pointed at the book and said in Russian "You called me Kisa."

The book was about a little girl named Kisa and her lost cat.

"Because you were as weak as a little girl," Natalia replied.

"How _rude,"_ Loki said, switching back to English.

"And you're any better, Mr 'faceful of vodka and piss'?" Natalia said wryly.

"In my defence, I did have a faceful of vodka and piss at the time and that tends to make me snappish."

Natalia chuckled before sitting down on the couch with him. "Are you nervous? This is your first operation."

"A little," Loki admitted. "I'd imagine you're far from it."

"Quite right," Natalia said.

"I'm a man of few fears," Loki said. "However, I could be dead tomorrow. Death is one of the big ones."

"If MI6 attacks us, they likely won't fire on you," Natalia told him. "You're one of them, remember?"

"Ah, yes. You should note that if they confirm the double-cross, I'll be twice as dead. I haven't contacted them; I must be considered suspect by now."

"You'll be fine. You're fast and clever," Natalia said. "Don't tell anyone I was being sweet and reassuring; I have a reputation to upkeep."

"Only if you don't tell anyone I was temporarily something less than a cocky asshole," Loki countered. "In these treacherous times, a reputation is all one has."

Natalia couldn't help but smile at that.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, something like friendship taking away the need for conversation.

For the first time, Natalia's reading of Loki turned up a sincere emotion. He was worried and unsure of himself.

He looked at the book about Kisa and her kitten for a moment longer before saying "If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?"

"I'd do whatever I wanted to do. With whoever I wanted to do it with," Natalia replied smoothly.

(When she said those exact same words a few years later to Tony Stark in a not dissimilar context, it was the first time she'd thought that Loki and Stark would get along well. However, their responses were different)

She saw Loki's eyes dilate slightly.

This left her with a choice: yes or no?

Natalia wanted to find out what was under that mask. She wanted to watch him fall apart, get a better measure of him. She wanted to help herself and him relax and get to sleep.

Beyond the clinical side there was a baser part of her, too, that had found Loki attractive from day one and interesting from day two.

The disadvantages? She couldn't show any form of weakness or vulnerability, or give anything away, nor could she take too long. In the end, that was livable.

"Natalia, I-" Loki began.

"Nat," she corrected him.

"Nat, I'd like to lean forward and kiss you, but I'm asking permission first because I don't particularly want you to break my spine," Loki murmured.

"I think, to avoid awkward situations, we should go to my bedroom first."

Loki vaulted the couch on the way there, an impish grin on his face.


	4. The beginning of something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who finally gosh-diddly-darn finished this thing!

Nat was gone when Loki woke up. That didn't surprise him. It did surprise him that she kissed him on the cheek when he found her while in search of breakfast.

He memorised how it felt. It seemed special, out of character for Nat.

There was also the added bonus that the goddamn Black Widow seemed to think he was cute. That was worth holding onto if his self-confidence ever failed him.

"Eat," Nat told him firmly. "Dress. Shower, maybe. Then get ready to move."

Loki did all of these in about half an hour, though it really was tempting to stay under the heat of the shower. It was bitingly cold outside.

Then he wrapped himself in a deliciously warm fur coat and got ready to leave. His belongings were few, which suited him fine.

Nat and one of the other agents were leaving in a little car, and would be meeting Loki and the other agent at a rendezvous point with a van. Loki had no idea where this point was, so he settled into the rear of the van and looked through his weapons, dissembling the gun to give it a clean.

They set off driving. Loki didn't bother to look out the window. It didn't matter where they were going.

-O.O-

After around an hour, everyone was at the rendezvous point. There was a buzz of tension in the air, but perhaps unsurprisingly, Loki just found himself becoming more eager.

They were all loading into the van when the bad guys arrived. Or good guys, depending on one's perspective, really.

Natalia and one of the agents were still outside the van, projecting nonchalance. There was a short discussion. Loki could sense that a lot of lies were being told, and that as things were currently going, they would get nowhere, so he gathered his weapons and shifted over to a window.

Loki was just waiting for his moment. He got it when one of the MI6 agents - the one that Loki disliked owing to his overuse of Axe - walked past the blacked-out window that Loki was behind.

He executed his movement quickly, wrenching the window open and plunging his knife into the meat of the agent's right shoulder, then bringing his gun up and blasting out one of the tyres of the van. Or at least he hoped he did - he fired four shots in that direction, hoping that his aim was passable. He was also hoping that he hadn't been seen and recognised.

The tension broken, Nat and the agent piled into the car. The accelerator was pressed. Movement was swift.

"What the hell?!" the agent driving shouted at Loki.

"It worked," Loki shrugged.

"It did," Nat said with a smile.

"And it blew our cover!" the agent snapped.

"Your cover was so blown that it had recovered from said blowing and was currently having a post-coital cigarette," Loki said acidly. "Also, you should have taken the previous left to get onto a broader road. You're wasting time."

The agent's fingers clenched, and Loki could almost hear him wanting to throw him out onto the curb. But he didn't. Nat was just trying not to laugh.

Car trips with people who actively dislike each other are tricky, and this one was no different. But Nat was in the back with Loki, and they were chatting and having a mini-lesson in Russian at the same time.

Loki liked Nat. He honestly did. He wasn't entirely sure why. Something about the fact she acted like she was more dangerous than a pile of razorblades but had a fantastically dry sense of humour and - dare he say - she was a tiny bit of a dork. He could respect that.

The trip passed in what was largely silence.

"You stabbed a man," Nat stated at one point in murmured English.

"That I did."

"Have you ever done that before?"

"Not that I can remember. I blinded two girls once. Purely accidental, of course."

"Of course," Nat said amusedly. "You're not feeling stressed or guilty?"

She was checking up on him. How cute.

"Guilty?" Loki held back a laugh but produced a chuckle. "I'm not sure you understand how psychopaths work, kitten. No, I'm not guilty. It would take something colossal to achieve that."

"That's a good start," Natalia said. "I've got some people you should contact. A knifework expert, a few discrete martial arts trainers, that sort of thing."

"Thank you," Loki said honestly.

Natalia retrieved the list from her bag and gave it to him. Then she retrieved the copy of Kisa and the Kitten from the flat and gave it to him. "Perfect your Russian. Kisa."

"You really would like me to succeed, hm?" Loki said, thumbing through the pages.

"You'll enjoy it. Trust me. Just don't get too badly hurt or I'll have to beat up the big bad bullies."

Loki chuckled and then said "I'm a big boy," in Russian.

"Work on how strong your English accent is," Natalia sighed.

-O.O-

The plane was ready for them when they arrived. It was slightly larger than Loki expected, but still small.

The refugees looked like they were walking up to the gates of Paradise or Gilead or something similar as they got out of the van and scrambled up the stairs into the plane.

They were followed by the two agents, then Nat. Loki followed her up the gangplank just to deliver a message.

"I'm staying here," Loki told her. He didn't want to go to America; SHIELD would no doubt detain him and be a pain in the ass.

"They may attack you," Natalia pointed out.

"Are you kidding me? I'm part of the MI6 attachment to the FSB! I'm on their side," Loki said with a sweet smile. "Isn't it a pity I couldn't stop you before you left?"

"It's a terrible tragedy, Kisa. No doubt you're crushed by disappointment," Natalia agreed with a smile.

"Oh, just devastated. Look after yourself, kitten," Loki said cheerfully.

"Call me," Natalia said, making the corresponding hand gesture.

Loki blew her a rather mocking kiss, then said "Make it look good."

Natalia's boot came out of nowhere and smashed his cheek, which was extremely painful but not long-term damaging. A kind gesture.

Regardless, the hit and the associated agony made Loki lose his balance. Natalia slammed him in the chest with her palm and Loki fell backwards down the stairs, slamming hard into the tarmac.

"Ah, fuck," Loki hissed. He could hear the plane begin take-off procedure and so he forced himself to his feet and waddled away, putting his hands up as cars began to approach.

He'd figure a way out of it somehow. Silver tongues were useful like that.

-O.O-

As soon as Loki was left unattended, he was gone. Which was good, because his boss was alerted to the amount of money he'd received from SHIELD a short time later, and if he'd stuck around any longer, he would've been in the shit.

Once he made it into Moscow mostly undetected, the first thing he bought was a tactical backpack. Light and deceptively small, it would be able to fit all sorts into it. He knew he'd bought the right one when the weight of it settled into his back so nicely, like it had been there all his life.

-O.O-

Natalia went back to SHIELD with a neatly completed mission under her belt. She was a part of them now, ready to absolve herself of her crimes.

Clint quickly got sick of hearing anything about Loki. Nat was beginning to suspect that this was due to some petty form of jealousy.

And now she'd become part of SHIELD and properly began to move on from her past life, she felt a lot more comfortable about westernising her name. A few weeks after she returned from her mission, she was going by the name Natasha Romanov.

-O.O-

They met again repeatedly, in different situations and places. Each time, Natasha had managed to discard Loki from her mind, dismiss him as someone with surface charm, until she met him again and he swept her off her feet and made her laugh. He was a good friend.

The news that he'd been captured in Afghanistan and had been on death's door was more than a little scary.

He was her friend, and she wanted to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still considering another part to this series. Maybe a Secret Avengers-style sort of thing, with added Winter Soldier for crispness.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments would be beautiful; I'd love to know what you think!


End file.
